Letting you in is TERRIFYING!

UGH! That title makes me want to vomit! Like legit VOMIT! I love people and I 100% need them but I like to leave them at a distance.

Ya’ll I have been hurt just like everyone else and I have learned if I keep people at a distance they can’t hurt me. Think about it. If you never let anyone in then they can’t say anything that would hurt too deep. Or they couldn’t let you down enough to really mess up your day… AND so on.

BUT here’s the problem, LIFE IS BETTER WITH PEOPLE! I have let a few people slip past the wall I built and life is so so much sweeter! The only reason I sit here typing is because a few dear friends encouraged me to do so. My women are “The Good Stuff” and without them life would suck! (Cue Kelly Clarkson)

I have worked HARD to find women that are for me, that are interested in me staying married, and women that are FUN! It is so easy to forget how to have fun and friends are one of the way I remember. I would say the work I have been doing the past few year to find my ladies has been so so worth every second.

BUT when it comes to letting people I have never met read my thoughts that’s where the vomit comes in… What if I offend you? What if I say something that I wish I hadn’t and the two people who read this will remember me as the girl who said that thing. What if my Mom reads this and is mad that I wrote whatever I wrote for the public? What if someone from my past reads this and think, “No way Chelsea Allis can feel this way, she’s a lier” UGH I have 45 more what ifs but they are a waste of time.

photo by @kaytlyneggerding

People of the internet I WANT TO HAVE A VOICE and I refuse to give up on that! Too many people have said to me “you should start a blog”. Ya’ll when you have said that to me my heart flutters! If you are willing to say that about me it’s because I have let you in enough to see a part of me that you liked. A part of me that is deeper that the weather or an outfit. People I am going to set my goals high and I am going to do the damn thing! I also promise to not vomit on you. :)